This Saturday’s “Surf’s Up Dept.” is very MAD video-centric, with a few other stories tossed in.

Revenge of the Mommy Dept.

Des Moines mom Jane Hambleton proclaimed herself the “Meanest Mom on the Planet” when she sold her son’s car through the want ads of the Des Moines Register after finding alcohol under the seat of the vehicle. The ad read:

OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.

Hambleton was then undulated with calls and e-mails from people supporting and applauding her for being tough on her kid and following through on her rules. Hambleton said she had only two rules with the car, which she bought for her 19 year old son around Thanksgiving: “Keep it locked, and no alcohol.” After finding the booze, she made her son face the consequences.

I also applaud this lady for following through on her rules and the punishment of their being broken. Too many parents today won’t do that because they either don’t want to be inconvenienced by actually having to raise their children, or they are too busy wanting to be their kid’s “friend” and can’t handle the confrontation. You can’t be a “friend” and a “parent” at the same time. Be strong with your kids and teach them right from wrong, and they’ll thank you for it later in life. Then you can get your revenge for all the “I hate you’s” and slamming doors by spoiling your grandkids rotten and then leaving the discipline for their parents!

Better Safer than Sorry Dept.

Here’s a video of a late 1980′s interview by Morely Safer on 60 Minutes with MAD Magazine idiots BIll Gaines, Nick Meglin, John Ficarra and Dick DeBartolo. It’s long but worth watching

It’s interesting that Safer right away questions MAD‘s ability to keep up it’s subversive, shocking reputation in the face of what he says is “more outrageous stuff than you guys are” that is available to young people. That was in the late 1980′s. Today we have the likes of the Farley Brothers and Judd Apatow setting the tone for comedic films and media. Is it any wonder that MAD has become much more riske and racy in these days, with the tone set by the Borat‘s of the world?

It’s also ironic to hear Gaines talk about how he feels about advertising and merchandising, as these are the very arguments MAD purists make against advertising in the magazine. “You can’t make fun of Pepsi Cola and take money from Coca Cola”, says Gaines. That may have been true back in the days of real corporate sponsorship, when advertisers would literally dictate the content of the shows and publications they were in or else yank their ad dollars. Today advertisers only care about circulation numbers and demographics… they WANT MAD to keep doing what they do so their target audience is reached. That’s why MAD can run ads of video games in an issue where the lead article is “The 50 Wost Things about Video Games” (MAD #457). Even the hypocrisy of that situation is ripe for MAD to make fun of, which they regularly do. MAD‘s self-depreciating humor is not just for show.

MAD BAD TV Dept.

I have to admit, I have never watched a single episode of MAD TV.

The funny thing is, MAD TV might be more exposed than MAD itself these days. It used to be every time I drew a kid at the theme park with big ears and a grin, I got a lot of “that looks like the kid from MAD” from the onlookers. Nowadays I hear “that looks like the kid from MAD TV” more and more. In fact, some kids I talked to had no idea there was a magazine that the show was named after. That just goes to show that kids spend a lot more time in front of the boob tube than they do reading publications.

The other day I saw this first MAD TV clip posted on an Apple fan website. It makes fun of the “Fiest” iPod Nano ad, and really hits the nail on the head with the frustrating nature of Apple’s product releases.

I also ran into a few other MAD TV clips that I thought were pretty funny.

Good Grief Dept.

Charles Schulz‘s widow and my friend Jeannie Schulz writes some public comments about the David Michaelis book. Jeannie is one smart lady, and her comments demonstrate that quite clearly. No one would blame her if she just took a few reactionary public shots at Michaelis over his portrayal of her late husband. Instead she shows that she is actually very familiar with the book’s content and calmly and intelligently explains why a number of Michaelis’s conclusions are poorly conceived or are outright erroneous. After reading these comments and talking with her, I believe Michaelis was bent on painting Schulz as the tortured artist, and conveniently ignored both facts and whatever opinions and stories about Schulz did not support that portrayal. -From the Canadian Sans Everything Blog.

Trailer Park Parenting for Dummies Dept.

Christian book publisher Thomas Nelson Inc. was preparing to release a new book on parenting on Mothers Day, 2008. The Author: Lynne Spears, mother of those fine, upstanding role models Britney and Jamie Lynne Spears. Spear’s book, “Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World” was to be all about “raising” (term used loosely) young Britney through her rise to fame.

The publisher has decided to shelve the book’s release. That decision came, I am sure purely by coincidence, shortly after it was reported that 16 year old Jamie Lynne was pregnant via her high school boyfriend. How long will publication be put off? “Indefinitely is the word we are using,” a source from the publisher told the NY Post.

“We don’t know how this happened,” Jamie Lynne has reportedly said… Apparently there is no chapter in Spear’s book concerning the “birds and the bees”.

Meanwhile plans for other rumored books by the publisher proceed including “Tips for a Successful Marriage” by Elizabeth Taylor, “Fair Play: Honor in Baseball” by Barry Bonds and the posthumous “Ethical Business Practices” by Kenneth Lay.

Ink Slip Dept.

Former Catfish Bend Casino employee David Stewart found himself unemployed after tacking up this “Dilbert” comic strip on an office bulletin board:

Apparently casino management was not amused by the strip, and it’s referral to company decision makers as “drunken lemurs”.

“I find that very offensive,” and unidentified management source exclaimed. “We are not lemurs.” No comment on the “drunken” part….

Casino management reviewed security tapes to discover who posted the cartoon, and then fired Stewart saying he was not a “team player”. They cited the posting of the cartoon during a hearing over Stewart’s unemployment compensation, which they were trying to oppose. The judge sided with Stewart, saying that posting the cartoon was not done with malicious intent.

“However, had he posted a “Cathy” cartoon, he would have had his unemployment yanked in a heartbeat,” the judge reportedly added. -from The Daily Cartoonist

The Year in Askew Dept.

Finally, web humor site JibJab has once again posted their annual “Year in Review” video. Not quite as funny as last year but still worth look and a laugh:

Disclaimer- Certain additions to the “news stories” above were added for satirical and humorous purposes, including fictitious quotes, facts and other nonsense. Treat the “reporting” above with the same amount of gravitas as you would Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”, except not as funny…. and no Amy Poehler.

Cartoons at Large Dept.

A study conducted at the University of Central Lancashire in the United Kingdom has determined that caricatures drawn of crooks were twice as easy to identify with their targets than traditional photofits. According to the article from The Guardian UK:

In tests, volunteers were asked to identify people from the standard photofit of their face and from their caricature.

On average, a photofit face was correctly identified 20% of the time, compared with 40% for the caricature, according to a report in this month’s Visual Cognition journal.

I can see it now…

“Attention all units, be on the lookout for suspect in your area. Identified as a white male, 30 to 35 years old, 16 pound 18 inch nose, head the size of a beach ball, tiny marble-like eyes, has name written in bubble letter floating over left shoulder. May be seen roller skating. Approach with caution…”

(Thanks to Hutch for the link!)

Tough on Chime Dept.-

Niagara Falls court judge Robert Restaino was presiding over a domestic abuse case when someone’s cell phone rang in the court. Restaino demanded the offending cell phone be handed over. When the owner did not step forward, Restraino went beserk and sent everyone in the courtroom to jail. According to the story from C/Net News:

“Everyone is going to jail; every single person is going to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now,” he went on. “If anybody believes I’m kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going.”

46 people were searched and jailed in crowded cells. Fourteen who could not post bail were shackled and sent by bus to a different jail… I can only hope one of those was the Verizon “Can you hear me now?” guy. After his time in stir, his new slogan is: “Can you hear me now, bitch?”

A Drucker by Any Other Name Dept.-

A reporter at Park City, Utah public radio station KPCW-FM, recently flipped through the latest Park City Record newspaper and noticed that an editorial cartoon published in that paper contained a caricature that looked suspiciously like one drawn decades ago by MAD Magazine legend Mort Drucker. Reporter Rick Brough dug up the original published Drucker drawing and faxed it to the Park Record.

The editorial cartoon in question was done by longtime Park City Record cartoonist John Kilbourne. The result was his resignation from the paper amid the stated disappointment of his editor and publisher.

No word yet whether the incident has caused the dozens of cartoonists who make a living copying the work of Drucker and Jack Davis scurrying for cover.

(Via The Daily Cartoonist…)

Gizzard of Oz Dept.-

Only in Minneosta…

A butcher in Fairmont, Minnesota was processing chickens when he came across a shiny object in a chicken gizzard. It was an identity bracelet with a name, address and phone number on it. After some amateur detective work, meat cutter Mark Olson tracked down original owner Aaron Giles through his father, who now lives in Arizona. Giles, now living in Massachusetts, was surprised to see his bracelet as he lost it 25 years ago as a young boy while playing in a barn in Fairmont.

Giles said the bracelet was in perfect condition… except it smelled like chicken gizzard.

Giles also said that he expects the bracelet to “remain in his family for years to come”… I hope by that he means in a drawer or jewelry box and not in a family member’s internal organs.

…The chicken did not return phone calls for comment.

Hitting the Street Artists Dept.-

I came across this video on YouTube. I think this guy might have applied to work for me once…

Here’s another collection of the weird, somewhat interesting and downright horrific from around cyberspace:

The Blubberfull World of Disney Dept.

According to this article, Disneyland in California will be closing down their “It’s a Small World” ride for some refurbishment. Not because the characters are looking tattered or the endless looping song needs updating… nope, it’s because the boats are bottoming out and getting stuck. Disney won’t come out and say it, but the reason?… riders are too fat.

Yes, it has come to this. Disneyland has to do reconstruction on a 41 year old ride because Americans have become so fat they are literally sinking the boats.

According to stories about the web, “Small World” boats have bottomed out and actually become stuck, forcing the occupants to exit and walk… or apparently in many cases waddle… out an emergency exit. Americans are now an average of almost 25 pounds heavier than they were in 1960, men going from an average of 166 lbs to 191, and women from 140 to 164. That’s a lot of Big Macs. You hear a lot of hype about the obesity problem in this country but sometimes it takes something like this to really drive it home.

I understand that some people’s weight problems are a result of very real disease and factors not within their control. However that cannot explain the epidemic we are seeing. American’s largely eat like pigs and get very little exercise, and that is the root of the problem.

Of course society is as much to blame as those who refuse to take their own health seriously. Take Disney, for example. According to the linked article above, when those fat folks sink the “Small World” boats and are escorted off the ride Disney makes sure they aren’t disappointed…

…they hand them a free food ticket!

Here Dumbs the Bride Dept.

A distraught bride in New York City is suing her florist for breach of contract, restitution and damages because the flowers that were delivered to her wedding were not the dark rust she ordered but pastel pink. Worse yet, they were wilted and brown and in dusty vases with not enough water. So, she’s suing for $400,000… the cost of the flowers was almost $27,500.

The florist claims they tried to match the colors to a picture given to them by the bride, but told her the color “might not match”.

I’m not sure what the worst crime committed here is… the bad job by the florist or the fact that somebody paid over $27,000 for FLOWERS for a wedding, let alone without actually picking them out in person? It’s a toss up.

Go Ahead… Make my Bed Dept.

A Montgomery, Alabama couple returned home from a week long trip to catch a thief red-handed after he had just ransacked their home, emptying drawers and throwing cabinets and piles of trash everywhere. Homeowner Adrian McKinnon caught the man walking through his home while inspecting the damage and held him at gunpoint while waiting for police to arrive.

As long as they were waiting, McKinnon forced the thief at gunpoint to clean up his house.

Police arrived to find a loudly complaining suspect, who felt he was being cruelly treated to be forced to straighten up the mess in the McKinnon household. No word on whether he flatly refused to do the windows.

Lake House-Be-Gone Dept.

Only in Minnesota.

According to an AP story, local ice fisherman Brian Young of Bowlus, MN, discovered friday that his fish house was missing. For you warm climate readers, that is not a house for fish, but rather a small shack that is hauled out onto a frozen lake, placed over bored holes in the ice and where grown men sit and stare at a bobber floating on the icy water trying to catch a fish, but mostly get really drunk.

Apparently some pranksters had placed a “FREE” sign on it without Young’s knowledge and unsuspecting persons had helped themselves to the fish house. It had been sitting near the intersection of County Road 13 and state Highway 287 about 26 miles from St. Cloud, MN. The cops don’t consider it stolen, but are just asking for it’s return. Local walleye are rejoicing. Local liquor stores are despondent.

… I should try that with my neighbor’s lawnmower he fires up at 6 am.

Urine Trouble Now Dept.

Lastly, this is an old video but I recently ran across it again on YouTube and it always gets a laugh.