What would the Real Alfred E. Neuman Look Like?

April 4th, 2014 | Posted in MAD Magazine

What, Me Worry?

Like this. Sculpture by Jordu Schell, via this website. Hat tip to Dalton Vaughn and Doug Gilford‘s MAD Cover Site, Facebook edition.

This is really well done, because it isn’t easy to make Alfred look convincing in three dimensions. Not only are his eyes uneven, but the center axis of his face is slightly tilted, and one side has considerably more space between the eye and hairline than the other. His ears are also lower than natural, and asymmetrical. There is a lot about his face that is ‘off” in a way that only stands out when you see a mirror image of it. Drawing him isn’t that easy, either.


  1. Jack Myhervold says:

    Kind of a Sheldon Cooper expression. I have the Alfred/Superman poseable figurine that has the face down pretty good, but I wish they had one that size with the classic Alfred clothing.

  2. lyle e davis says:

    Sadly, I know a young man who is a dead ringer for Alfred E. Neuman; I thought there might even be a market for his image but never pursued it because he is not Down Syndrome/Mentally Retarded but is mentally quite slow, and I did not want him to be in an embarrassing position nor to be taken advantage of. His was a problem with the umbilical cord at birth . . . cut off the oxygen to his brain just enough to cause some permanent damage but was still able to be born alive and have most of the normal physical capacities; it’s just his mind that is slow. It is something he’ll never be able to overcome.

  3. Matt Keeley says:

    That is a GREAT sculpture. At first glance, I thought it was an amazingly good cosplay!

    I loved the previous post about how to draw Alfred. I’d actually kind of love to see some “close”/wrong Alfreds redlined, too. That’d be pretty dang interesting, I bet.

  4. Aaron says:

    My God, that’s creepy…

  5. David K. M. Klaus says:

    It just shows how *good* Frank Kelly Freas was at his art.

    • David K. M. Klaus says:

      And I mean “art” in both the specific and general senses of the word.

    • Tom says:

      I’m not sure how this sculpture shows how good Freas was. He had nothing to do with this. ??


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