Surf’s Up Dept.

November 10th, 2007 | Posted in General

Here’s another collection of the weird, somewhat interesting and downright horrific from around cyberspace:

The Blubberfull World of Disney Dept.

According to this article, Disneyland in California will be closing down their “It’s a Small World” ride for some refurbishment. Not because the characters are looking tattered or the endless looping song needs updating… nope, it’s because the boats are bottoming out and getting stuck. Disney won’t come out and say it, but the reason?… riders are too fat.

Yes, it has come to this. Disneyland has to do reconstruction on a 41 year old ride because Americans have become so fat they are literally sinking the boats.

According to stories about the web, “Small World” boats have bottomed out and actually become stuck, forcing the occupants to exit and walk… or apparently in many cases waddle… out an emergency exit. Americans are now an average of almost 25 pounds heavier than they were in 1960, men going from an average of 166 lbs to 191, and women from 140 to 164. That’s a lot of Big Macs. You hear a lot of hype about the obesity problem in this country but sometimes it takes something like this to really drive it home.

I understand that some people’s weight problems are a result of very real disease and factors not within their control. However that cannot explain the epidemic we are seeing. American’s largely eat like pigs and get very little exercise, and that is the root of the problem.

Of course society is as much to blame as those who refuse to take their own health seriously. Take Disney, for example. According to the linked article above, when those fat folks sink the “Small World” boats and are escorted off the ride Disney makes sure they aren’t disappointed…

…they hand them a free food ticket!

Here Dumbs the Bride Dept.

A distraught bride in New York City is suing her florist for breach of contract, restitution and damages because the flowers that were delivered to her wedding were not the dark rust she ordered but pastel pink. Worse yet, they were wilted and brown and in dusty vases with not enough water. So, she’s suing for $400,000… the cost of the flowers was almost $27,500.

The florist claims they tried to match the colors to a picture given to them by the bride, but told her the color “might not match”.

I’m not sure what the worst crime committed here is… the bad job by the florist or the fact that somebody paid over $27,000 for FLOWERS for a wedding, let alone without actually picking them out in person? It’s a toss up.

Go Ahead… Make my Bed Dept.

A Montgomery, Alabama couple returned home from a week long trip to catch a thief red-handed after he had just ransacked their home, emptying drawers and throwing cabinets and piles of trash everywhere. Homeowner Adrian McKinnon caught the man walking through his home while inspecting the damage and held him at gunpoint while waiting for police to arrive.

As long as they were waiting, McKinnon forced the thief at gunpoint to clean up his house.

Police arrived to find a loudly complaining suspect, who felt he was being cruelly treated to be forced to straighten up the mess in the McKinnon household. No word on whether he flatly refused to do the windows.

Lake House-Be-Gone Dept.

Only in Minnesota.

According to an AP story, local ice fisherman Brian Young of Bowlus, MN, discovered friday that his fish house was missing. For you warm climate readers, that is not a house for fish, but rather a small shack that is hauled out onto a frozen lake, placed over bored holes in the ice and where grown men sit and stare at a bobber floating on the icy water trying to catch a fish, but mostly get really drunk.

Apparently some pranksters had placed a “FREE” sign on it without Young’s knowledge and unsuspecting persons had helped themselves to the fish house. It had been sitting near the intersection of County Road 13 and state Highway 287 about 26 miles from St. Cloud, MN. The cops don’t consider it stolen, but are just asking for it’s return. Local walleye are rejoicing. Local liquor stores are despondent.

… I should try that with my neighbor’s lawnmower he fires up at 6 am.

Urine Trouble Now Dept.

Lastly, this is an old video but I recently ran across it again on YouTube and it always gets a laugh.

Comments

  1. Mark Hill says:

    That news item about the boats in the “It’s a Small World” ride is very telling about our society. (And no surprise that that Disney doesn’t want to cut off some of the hands that feed it and make its clientele feel bad by discussing the real reason behind the future increase in buoyancy.)

    Most people in our country are bigger due to lack of exercise and poor diets. The funny thing is, ‘technically’, guys like us who throw the iron around can fit into that category, too. I’ve gained 30 pounds since college, and my body-fat % is lower…but by old-fashioned height-to-weight ratio standards, I’m overweight. If you and I got into one of those boats with one or two of our lifting buddies, we might bottom it out!

  2. Tom says:

    That’s true. At a hieght of 6’1” and a weight of 235 my “body mass index” is 31 and I’m considered “obese”. Muscle weighs a lot more than fat, so it isn’t too unusual for body builders or weight lifters to make that BMI look stupid.

    Maybe I can get a free churro next time I’m at Disney if I can bottom out “Pirates of the Caribbean”!!

  3. Mark Hill says:

    Ah, yes…”body mass index” is the term I was searching for late last night, (after putting in some long hours on a project.) Followers of the BMI, (and tailors), don’t like people like us.

    Ha ha! A free churro would be nice.

  4. SteveH says:

    I have the same problem, the muscles in my big toe (left side) are highly developed and weigh sooo much it effects my overall body mass weight! Hehehehehehehehe……

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